Intentions.

As a new year begins, I have tried to put more thought into what I want to focus on for the next 12 months. 2013 was a trying year. There were ups and downs, times where I thought I could not move on, and times where I just did not think I was going to come out on the other side of a situation smiling. That being said, one of the best things has happened to me this year: I found someone who I care about immensely and feels the same about me as well. I could go on, but that is another story for a different time. Without further ado, these are some points I will be focusing on during the upcoming year.

1. Worrying Less. I read in a blog post that worrying is pretty much praying for things you do not want to happen. I have witnessed my worrying affect my relationships, my job, and my well being. There is no use in stressing out about things that are out of my control or having those worries bleed into areas into my life where they are not wanted or needed.

2. Taking Care of Myself. This covers various areas, but a focus I had it just make sure I don't lose myself in the mix. Whether it be going to the gym, getting my nails done, or getting a hair cut. I just want to make sure I do treat myself now and then and also do some upkeep as well. I want to strive to be the best version of myself every opportunity that I have.

3. Choosing Happiness/ Inviting Positiveness. Misery loves company. Negativity begets negativity. By making a conscious decision daily to be happy or just choose a sunnier disposition, it will bring more positive energy into my life. I am tired of feeling down or needing a win. I woke up this morning, that should already be a win.

Those are the three main things this year. I may add to this, but honestly I think this covers most of my bases. May this New year bring light and love to all in the coming months.

Letting Go...

So I was advised recently to let go of what they called "old love." The ties that no longer have any use to me unless to serve as an example to why I don't date anymore. This is my way to laying these "loves" to rest:

R: You just kept on coming back, and I always welcomed you back with open arms. Its time for me to move on.

S: Letting go was a hard thing to do with you since you were someone I could talk to. I have to let you go in order for me to grow and move forward.

J: It has been 5 years. It really is just time to let go to all the things you put me through. I am not that girl anymore. I have said everything I needed to say to you and then some.

G: Staying friends didn't work.Even though we have a tie that we can not really get rid of, the friendship is non existent.  You'll never get over her, and I'm tired of watching you get hurt repeatedly.

D: In my head, I thought this would work out in my favor. It fell short. I wish nothing but the best for you.

Are there things I wanted to write? Yes, but what good will that serve? I don't need to be re-hashing the past, and I am no longer going to lament over the times I wish I had with them. I think its time to say goodbye to people who serve no purpose in my  life, and just take up free space in my head. It is time for me to move forward, and embrace what is to come.

I'm Thankful for....

I thought I did this every year. Looking through my old posts, apparently I don't. In light of recent events, I was compelled to really reflect on what I'm thankful for this year.

1. Family - Even though I always have drama w/family (extended, that is), I am grateful to have my mom, dad, sister and brothers. I love them all immensely, and no matter what they're mine :) My sister puts up with my daily antics and my parents have really started to support me in my new job.
2. The people I claim as Family - I have family friends who I can honestly say are my family. These are the people that just have taken me into their households and pretty much adopted me into their lives. The Wada and the Perez families are both my 2nd family. They have always accepted me for who I am without reserve, and I can not express my never ending gratitude for all they have done for me. It has been far too long since I have visited, and I promise to get up there soon!
3. Friends, both new and old - People come in and out of your life everyday. Some are just meant to just hang around for a while and then leave, while others have a permanent spot in your life. Others just take without giving and others give without ever asking for a thing in return. At the end of the day, a friend is a friend. I love the ones I have. I am very particular about the company I keep, and I must say, the company that is around me right now is awesome! This is my thank you to the people who put up with me and just accept and love my for who I am. You can't pick your family;but my frieds -  y'all CHOOSE to be around me, and for that I am grateful.
4. My Job - For those who know (and those who don't) I am now a full time make up artist. This job means so much to me because it came at such a perfect time. I was not happy where I was in so many different ways, and this job just presented itself like it was fate - it was just made to happen. I have one of those jobs where I am glad to go in (most days) and I am truly happy to be there. i LOVE what i do. I have amazing co - workers, some of which have become awesome friends. Also, I feel like I have found something I am really passionate about. Don't get me wrong, music will always be one of my many loves, but right now this is just where I need to be, and I can't wait to see where this job will lead me.
5. The Basics -  I have a roof over my head, in more than one location. I have people in my life that I love and love me in return. I'm healthy. I love my pets, and I think they love me back, haha. I have a job that pays the bills and I am happy. These are the little things people can forget  that I am thankful to have.

So there it is, a couple of things that I am thankful for. To all, I hope this day is full of love and happiness. What are some of the things you are thankful for?

Living my life in 30 days..

If March 2011 was your last month to live, how would you live it?


   I would just try to spend it with the people I love. There would be lots of travelling, and I would quit my job. I would say my goodbyes in VA, and then I would spend sometime in NJ/NY. being around the people I grew up with. Then I would probably spend the last two weeks exploring London. I turned 18 in London, and always vowed to come back. Also when I went at 18, it was a bittersweet trip. Too much drama tainted the trip and strained a lot of the friendships I had at the time. So this time I would try to get as many people that I loved to London with me and enjoy it the way I was supposed to back when I was a teenager.

Two Months In...

One month into 2011, what question(s) are you living? Are there any prompts/questions that arose during #reverb10 that are still resonating in your life? Are you living new questions?


What questions am I living... I guess whats next, or when will i catch a break? It has been a struggle with a couple of things in my life when it came to work, but I feel that things will finally be looking up soon. 

Don't call it a resolution.

I have always believe that one should not carry baggage into the new year. I am not thinking that 201 is going to be better than 2010 or anything like that; I just like a clean slate. There's no clutter when there's nothing there quite yet to clutter your path to the end of the year. Do I have resolutions? Not exactly. There are things I want to improve, but one I put a label such as resolution, its just reason for me to break it. I simply put it as something I need to do. So here are some of the things I would like to work on during the upcoming year.

1) Read more and educate myself. - I was walking in a bookstore pointing out books about topics I used to know. Another day I was talking to a volunteer at work about one of my favorite books, but couldn't recall certain events. I miss learning. I haven't really educated myself for fun in a really long time. Now's the time to start.

2) Being on time for work EVERY TIME - thats a work in progress

3) Spend more time with the people I love - I need to stop being a hermit so much.

4) Work even more on myself - This means a bunch of things, but you get the gist. I want to work on all of me. Emotionally & Physically.

5) Develop my intuition more - who wants card readings? :)

6) HAVE AN AWESOME TIME IN VEGAS.

7) Write more. - Not just on here,  just write to write.

Those are a few things. Above all else, I just want to be happy and heading towards the goals I have for myself. Heres to a clean slate. Now I must get ready to go to the airport. Sends lots of positive energy so I can win big! Happy New Year everyone!

So what am I trying to say?

December 31 – Core Story What central story is at the core of you, and how do you share it with the world? (Bonus: Consider your reflections from this month. Look through them to discover a thread you may not have noticed until today.) 

When I first saw this prompt, I thought it would be really difficult to really find out what my core story is. I was thinking "oh, I'm only 23, I don't have one yet. I'm still trying to find out what I still want out of life." Then I thought about all my posts from the last month and my core story became clear.
My central story is about knowing yourself. This year has been full of learning about the person who should mean the most to me: me. No matter how many people come in and out of your life, you go to bed with yourself every night. Who would want to share a bed with a stranger? I feel that getting to know yourself and discovering who you are brings out a whole other side to you. A new self confidence takes over because you are more in tune with your wants and needs. A new awareness of yourself worth allows you to never settle for less and strut the streets like you know what you're doing - even though you may not have a clue. You leave your baggage and hang ups at the door and just step into a new you.
Working on who you are has been something that I have been doing since 2010 started and it really has made me into the person I want to be. I mean, we all have times where our self confidence is not exceptionally high, but knowing YOU allows to become a lot more resilient in my opinion. I purposefully stopped being interested in a romantic relationship to really gain a better sense of self and to learn that I don't need a relationship or a significant other in order to feel complete; all I need is myself and the support of my friends and family.
How do I share this with the world? By simply loving myself and being confident. When you respect yourself and carry yourself in a way that makes you happy, people notice. You may not think so, but they do. I was talking to a friend the other day and she stated that I can look good in just about anything because I have the confidence to pull it off. I disagreed, but maybe she has a point. If you think you look good, you DO look good (unless you're in jeggings; just kidding). Also giving advice when people ask for it. I tell them the story of my journey and how its really put a spin on my life for the better.

So the moral of the story is as follow: Know thyself. Get to know yourself, but also remember there is ALWAYS room for improvement. It'll make you happier, but if it doesn't, change it; make it for the better, and the new year is the perfect time to do so.


So hats off to 2010, and here's to whats to come in 2011.

Happy New Year.